|| my head up

i looked back into your eyes
and i started to cry
when i realized
they were on me the whole time

when i couldn't take the pain
and i gave into the games
drowning in my state
of denial
you kept my head up
above water
above giving in
you kept my head up

i looked back into your eyes
and saw that you were kind
in the middle of my lies
you never turned away
when my bottle was full
and my heart turned stone
i didn't know how to ask you for it,
but you gave me mercy

when i sat in the darkest place
you held me in my shame
even when i couldn't reach you
you held me in my shame

when the hurt ran deeper
and confusion was a resident
you lifted my head up
you met me in my mess
and lifted my head up